The Friday Thing on the Rapist Lottery winner:

"This week convicted rapist Iorworth Hoare (currently nearing the end of a 'life' sentence) won £7 million on the lottery. How, screamed the media, can this be right? Well, the answer to that is that the little coloured balls are neither sentient nor clairvoyant. Number 1 (and all the other balls) don't think to themselves 'If I go down the chute, some rapist is going to win. I'm staying put.' This point, and many others, seemed lost on the media, which generally went a bit
barmy..."